I just heard from Sarah, an Alpha-Woman. Sarah’s in pain. Her husband John has shutdown. He hasn’t made decent money for over 6 months. Time passes. There’s no hope on the horizon.

The more time passes the less Sarah gets through to John. He disappears behind the newspaper. He hides glued to the TV. When confronted, his eyes glaze over. To add insult to injury, John does less and less around the house. He says he has no time. The more Sarah’s frustrated, the less she gets through to John.

Sarah, I know the situation is maddening and scary. You wonder if John will ever be his old self again. Right now he is in between chairs. That’s a tough place to be. It’s putting him off balance. Beware: The more you push the higher John’s wall will grow. The lower he will feel about himself. My advice is to give him breathing space. Let him know you understand how tough it is for him. Reach down to the place in yourself where you believed in him. Be generous with support. I know it’s tough for you but someone has to break the cycle. Right now you are the stronger one.

It wouldn’t surprise me if you knew of a couple who were once in Sarah and John’s space. How did they move forward? Do you have additional suggestions?

Tags: ,

Leave a Reply