Betrayed Wives

Harriet KatzI’ve been thinking about conversations taking place between husbands and wives around the world since Eliot Spitzer’s betrayal of his wife Silda hit the news. Why does their problem resonate so loudly to so many? Because betrayal is more widespread than we’d like to believe. Once discovered, trust is broken. Trust is the very foundation of a relationship. The question is, can it be repaired?

Once broken, you can never return to the original uncomplicated state. However, if you both are determined to repair the relationship, you can. You can achieve a “new normal.” If achieved, it will recede to the back burner. The hurt and violation will remain as part of your history. Not as a daily burning pain.

Achieving the “new normal” is hard work. Hard because it requires dealing with what led up to the betrayal. And the betrayal itself. Some couples can have these difficult conversations on their own. Some could benefit from outside help. Either way, the desire to repair the relationship and preserve the family unit must outweigh the desire for extra-marital involvement. What do you think might be some of the reasons for extra-marital involvements?

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