Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

It’s Chemistry

Tuesday, August 26th, 2008

Ever wonder why someone else got hired when your qualifications were as least as strong? Susan, Louise, and John recently wondered about it as well.  It’s not rocket science. But it is often under estimated. It’s not very difficult.

It’s chemistry. Chemistry accounts for 70% of hiring decisions. Chemistry continues to be the big driver once hired. Good chemistry comes from a good fit. Between you and your manager. Between you and the organization.  Good chemistry creates an ease. An  openness. Trust is established. You “get” each other. Communication comes naturally. Be aware and choose well:

  • Know your style, strengths and liabilities in dealing with people.
  • Take off your rose colored glasses when you are in job search mode. 
  • Listen to your gut. Notice how the person is with you. The appealing aspects. The things that make you uncomfortable.
  • Take the offer If you think you will flourish and grow. Don’t accept the offer if it negative. Makes you uncomfortable.
Remember, you will be spending most of your waking hours there. Make sure you want to be there. 

#51 Mommy, why do I have three dads?

Tuesday, June 24th, 2008

Welcome to my very first premium episode of Ask Dr. Harriet. Today, we meet a woman who not only is one of the foremost experts on divorce and the growing phenomenon of the multiple step family, she and her husband also are part of a large blended family. Ann Ordway is a divorce lawyer in New Jersey specializing in couples mediation, communication and family counseling. The sometimes devastating ways in which divorce and re-marriage impact children is why Ann and husband Steve started Little Voices. In this episode we discuss how you know when divorce is the only alternative, and steps you can take now to prevent your relationship from reaching that point. We also delve into how divorce has evolved in society, and what that means for children growing up. Music heard on this show includes Wouldn’t It Be Nice, by the Beach Boys and It’s Your Lucky Day Now, by AJ and the Frozen Tundra Blues Band.

This episode is currently only available to Premium subscribers.

#50 Welcome Back

Tuesday, June 24th, 2008

Wait a minute, you haven’t been away, I have. And boy have I been busy creating a brand new series of shows aimed at providing you with the tools and techniques to help you thrive at this thing we call life!

Fittingly, we start with Life Coaching. What is it? How do you know you need one? Where can you find the best one for you? How does it work? What does it cost? Here are the straight answers to all your questions and more. I also hope you will sign up for my Premium podcast series were we will explore in-depth areas such as GenX-Y career development, divorce and step families, relationships and much more. Music heard on this show includes "Welcome Back" by John Sebastian.

This episode is currently only available to Premium subscribers.

Laura Don’t Bolt

Friday, June 6th, 2008

Harriet KatzLaura’s call was the fifth call I received in the past two weeks. She was hysterical. Just a little while ago she was thrilled. She finally met Larry after being alone for 17 years. Her last serious relationship was shortly after college. She adores him. He loves her. He is recently divorced. The fly in the ointment: he has three teenagers. All of them are angry. Scared. Demanding.

Larry feels guilty much of the time. It wasn’t only his idea to break up the family. His wife was fed up with him as well. He still wants to be a good father. He is loaded with guilt. He is always buying the kids presents. Running around with them. But not spending enough “quality time.” Laura has been feeling like the fifth wheel. An unwilling competitor. She is beginning to doubt if they will ever have a reasonable life together. Wondering if being single is better than getting on board this ship.

Laura, getting Larry involves the whole complicated package. But if you love each other, it can be worked out. Not overnight. It will likely be a long challenging process. You will need to deal with anger you don’t deserve. With the kids competing for Larry’s love and attention until everyone finds a comfortable place. It will require a lot of patience. Understanding. Persistence. It can work. It can also bring you and Larry closer. And possibly ultimately a close relationship with one of more of the kids. Have you been through a similar situation? What happened? What did you learn from it? What, if anything, would you do differently now?

#49 – Crossroads

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008

Funny how doing anything for exactly one year can often spawn an epiphany. It tugs at us to change direction, however minor the adjustment, to breathe new life into what seemed perfectly on-course until that 365 day marker appeared in the rearview mirror. Okay, enough suspense already. Harriet Katz is branching out! And what an exciting ride it is going to be! Music heard on this show includes You Ain’t Seen Nothin Yet by Bachman Turner Overdrive.

This episode is currently only available to Premium subscribers.

#46 – Mother-Daughter Relationships

Monday, March 31st, 2008

mother-daughter.jpg Today, an intimate snapshot of a very special, adult mother-daughter relationship. Thank you, Gabi! Music this episode includes “Child of Mine” by Carole King.

This episode is currently only available to Premium subscribers.

#45 – Cheating Men

Monday, March 24th, 2008

spitzer_thumb.jpg Why do males of our species stray? Can personal history predict a repeat performance? How critical are communication breakdowns? Ladies, here’s a home remedy guaranteed to work magic on your relationship. Warning: you may not like the taste.

This episode is currently only available to Premium subscribers.

#44 – He-She Stuff

Monday, March 17th, 2008

genders_thumb.jpg
It’s advice time. Ken dipped into our email bag and found five great questions- all about the never-ending battle of the sexes! Music includes “The Leprechaun” by the Brobodingnagrian Bards.

This episode is currently only available to Premium subscribers.

Betrayed Wives

Sunday, March 16th, 2008

Harriet KatzI’ve been thinking about conversations taking place between husbands and wives around the world since Eliot Spitzer’s betrayal of his wife Silda hit the news. Why does their problem resonate so loudly to so many? Because betrayal is more widespread than we’d like to believe. Once discovered, trust is broken. Trust is the very foundation of a relationship. The question is, can it be repaired? (more…)

#43 – Under Pressure part2

Sunday, March 9th, 2008

finalexam1.jpgFor many, going off to college is an exciting adventure. But what happens when the safety nets that protected you in high school are removed, replaced by the pressure to succeed? It is quite common to feel alone, confused, fearful, often depressed. My guest is therapist Dr. Lynda Doyle who has talked with dozens and dozens of college kids from the U.S. and other countries. She tells each of them the same thing: You’re absolutely normal!

This episode is currently only available to Premium subscribers.